MILITARY
COLLECTOR GROUP POST, July 14/98
Index:
US MILITARY
PORTABLE RADIOS; PART II, By Alan D. Tasker WA1NYR
MEMBERS WRITE;
More Racal
Syncal 30,
Communications
Trailer ?
BC-1000/VRC-3
Mounts ?
DAVE's GOT
MANUALS TA GET RID OF;
HUMOR, ???
HUMOR;
***********************************************
US MILITARY
PORTABLE RADIOS; PART II,
By Alan D.
Tasker WA1NYR <atasker@ix.netcom.com>
There are a
number of instances where the portable RT
(Receiver/Transmitter)
unit forms the basis of a number of nomenclatured
systems (i.e.
AN/PRC, AN/VRC, AN/GRC, etc.). The RT unit can, for
instance, be
attached to a vehicular mount that allows it to run on vehicle
supplied power.
Usually there is also an associated vehicular mounted
amplifier that
boosts the transmitter power, and boosts audio power as well
in order to drive
a speaker. Some of these systems even have a
"jerk-and-run"
capability, i.e. a quick way to disconnect and turn the RT
into a portable
again.
In a similar
vein, there is an older concept where communication devices
that have a
primary application (mounted in a vehicle perhaps) have also a
"Secondary
Application" as a manpack (larger than a backpack) portable.
These devices,
when attached to the correct backpack frame, and when
connected to the
correct battery box with the correct cables, became
portable. The
following is a list of these types. There may be others.
TBX, 2-5.8 MHz
SCR-284/BC-654,
tunable, 3.8-5.8 MHz AM, replaced by
SCR-694/BC-1306,
tunable, 3.8-6.5 MHz, replaced by
AN/GRC-9,
tunable, 2-12 MHz.
SCR-510/BC-629,
two channel, 20-27.9 MHz FM.
SCR-610/BC-659,
two channel, 27-38.9 MHz FM.
SCR-619/BC-1335,
two channel, 27-38.9 MHz FM.
RT-70/PRC-16,
tunable, 47-58.4 MHz FM.
The UHF Backpack
for FAC (Forward Air Control)-Chart 3
Before the
Military Aircraft Band changed to UHF, it was located in mid
VHF, 100-156
MHz. The Navy had a 10 channel portable called the
MAW. The
Army had a two
channel unit called the AN/TRC-7 which, apparently, in some
applications, was
portable (secondary application).
With the growth
of civilian aviation and other services following WW II,
there were some
revisions made to the frequency band allocations. The
Military Aircraft
Band changed to high VHF/low UHF, 225-400 MHz. The first
portables to
cover this new band were the MAY (Navy) and the AN/PRC-14 (Air
Force/Army); both
four-channel crystal controlled units. The MAY was a
manpack unit,
while the PRC-14 consisted of two main parts, a transceiver
worn in the
front, and a power supply with internal battery worn on the
back. They were
connected with a cable, and the antenna was mounted on top
of the helmet.
The synthesized (full band coverage) and partially
transistorized
PRC-41, another manpack unit, followed the PRC-14.
There was an
effort by the Air Force during the mid 60s to develop
prototype FAC
units that would operate on all three tactical bands plus VHF
Air. Rather than
being a single radio with four bands inside, they were
actually four
separate radios, each with its own battery, fastened together
on a frame, but
arranged so they could be separated and operated
independently if
desired. Sylvania developed the PRC-71, while Bendix
developed the
PRC-72. Some number of units were produced (my guess is
about a hundred
or so) and tested in Vietnam. They hit the surplus market
in the very early
70s, so their short life indicates to me a certain lack
of success (too
big, too heavy???). Later, there was a definition of a
better system,
the PRC-82, with the four bands designated PRC-83 through
86. All four
radios were to be synthesized (the PRC-72 HF section was the
only synthesized
unit in the previous efforts, all the others were
channelized with
2 to 6 channels). It appears that the PRC-82 venture
never proceeded
too far either.
Next, the Air
Force developed the AN/PRC-66; a conventional backpack
mounted unit.
The Marines evidently did not want a backpack (perhaps
because they
envisioned an FAC with a PRC-70 (HF/VHF) or 77 (VHF only) on
his back), so
they went for a two piece design called the PRC-75. The radio
and battery box
fit into a two pocket front (belly) mounted canvas harness,
and were
connected with a cable. Both the 66 and the 75 were all solid
state Collins
Radio (USA for the 66, Toronto for the 75) designed units
employing
transistors, ICs and hybrid circuits to effect as small a size as
possible.
Today we have the
two-band Navy/Air Force PRC-113(V)3, which covers both
aircraft bands.
It allows for Air-band interoperability wherever you are,
and whomever you
are working with.
HF Backpacks for
the Special Forces-Chart 4
There is not a
lot of information on early HF units, such as the crystal
controlled
PRC-52, 62 and 64. There is some evidence to suggest that
some
or most of the
PRC-64 units (Delco)(a Special Forces replacement for the
GRC-109) were
converted to the PRC-64A variant that had an improved
interface to the
GRA-71 burst keyer (300 WPM)(see references 6 and 17).
It would appear
that the first unit to reach widespread use was the
partially
transistorized (four tubes) synthesized AN/PRC-47. It is
actually a two
man portable (the second man carried the separate Silver
battery in its
case, amongst other things) with quite an antenna system for
the occasions
when a temporary fixed station is called for.
The all-solid
state PRC-74 with its variants 74A, 74B and 74C backpack
units followed
this.
The dual band
PRC-70, born out of the PRC-42 research effort, appeared
next. It does
not appear that it ever completely replaced the PRC-74. It
also appears
there are still PRC-47 and 74 units in the field.
The current HF
unit is the IHFR (Improved High Frequency Radio) AN/PRC-104,
with variants
"A" (changed to LCD readout) and "B" (which added
provisions
for STAJ, Short
Term Anti Jam).
Rumored to be on
the horizon is the "Joint Tactical Radio."
SAR-Rescue
Radios-Chart 5, PRC, URC, UCMe
The Search and
Rescue function has produced at least eighteen different radio
designs
over the years, very prolific indeed. Intended to be packed
with life
rafts/boats, ejection seats, or, if small enough, with the airman
himself, these
units were generally powered by Mercury batteries because of
the long shelf
life of this particular chemistry. However, environmental
concerns related
to spent battery disposal have led the government to
recently ban the
further use of Mercury batteries in military systems. It
looks like
Lithium batteries will inherit this role.
The Navy's
AN/CRC-7 was the first two-way voice radio. Intended for life
raft use, it may
have been used by the Air Force as well.
While in the
midst of the aircraft frequency band plan change (see
discussion in FAC
section above), there was a need to have the SAR radios
cover both 121.5
and 243 MHz. This made the radio rather large and heavy.
The Air
Force/Army went with the AN/URC-4 while the Navy went with the
AN/PRC-17. In a
personal interview with a SAC Airman during this time
frame, he stated
that the mass of the radio was so large, and the jerk of
the parachute
opening so great, that "the radio and its battery ripped
through the vest
and kept on going upon chute deployment."
When the switch
in frequencies was completed, the Air Force/Army went with
the URC-11, while
the Navy used the PRC-32. Both of these operated on 243
MHz only and were
much smaller than their two frequency predecessors.
Since they still
employed sub-miniature tubes, the battery was still big
and heavy,
however.
The push for a
solid state unit resulted in the URC-10 (just one of many
derivatives of
the ACR designed RT-10) and the PRC-49. The Navy continued
on and developed
the ultimate in small size85the PRC-63, the cutest little
thing you ever
did see.
However, the age
of single frequency SAR radios had come to an end. The
number of ELT
(Emergency Locator Transmitter, sometimes automatically
activated upon
chute deployment) beacon transmissions crowding the 243 MHz
frequency during
battle in Vietnam proved the need for a second voice
frequency,
ultimately chosen to be 282.8 MHz. (In addition, at least
some
of the ELTs were
eventually moved to 240.1 ??? MHz.)
The Air Force
developed the URC-64 four-channel device. The Army opted
instead for the
URC-68, a four channel two-band (VHF/UHF) radio that
allowed downed
airmen to communicate directly with ground troops as well as
aircraft. Both
of these were ultimately replaced by the Navy developed and
improved PRC-90-2
two-channel unit (243 and 282.8 MHz), the first
tri-service SAR
radio.
This was followed
by a COTS (Commercial Off The Shelf) device from
Motorola, the
PRC-112. Sporting five different frequencies, circuitry was
included which
allowed equipment in the SAR aircraft to develop range and
bearing
information (DME), certainly a great help in aiding rescue
efforts.
The big news
today in SAR is CSEL (Combat Survivor Evader Locator); a new Air
Force managed
tri-service program being run through Boeing. Racal has
the contract for
the new radio, which carries the nomenclature AN/PRQ-7.
It will be
capable of transmitting on at least 121.5, 243, and 406.025 MHz
(the COPAS-SARSAT
satellite tracking SAR system). It will also receive GPS
information.
Meanwhile,
Motorola produced 1000 pieces of an interim solution for use in
the hot spots
around the globe. It is called the HOOK-112, and it is a
PRC-112 with an
internal GPS (Global Positioning System) receiver that
encrypts location
data and transmits it upon demand to the SAR aircraft.
Non Tactical
Portables-Chart 6
There have been a
number of non-tactical portables used over the years.
For the most
part, these have been commercially available units (i.e.
Motorola, Comco,
Repco, Bendix, etc.) provisioned by the services for use
all over the
globe, and operating generally in the NBFM mode within some
part of or all of
one of the following bands8530-50 MHz, or 132-174 MHz, or
406-470 MHz.
Additional numbers known to fall in this category are the
PRC-23 and 24
(Army), 29 (Navy), and 59 (Coast Guard). Unfortunately,
except for the
PRC-127, information on this class of portables is scarce.
The Scope Shield
program (AF run tri-service) is an exception. The second
effort at
providing a radio that would be interoperable with standard
commercial
frequencies made use of the AN/PRC-126 but changed the circuitry
so that either
30-88 or 130-174 MHz could be covered by exchanging modules.
This unit is the
AN/PRC-128, and is an outgrowth of the early Scope Shield
efforts with the
PRC-68B(V) low band (the Marines also bought this one for
tactical
purposes) and PRC-68B(V)2 high band separate radios. (The
PRC-136
fire rescue set
appears to be another derivative of the PRC-68/126
programs.)
The Scope Shield
II Program then developed the AN/PRC-139 with Racal. This
radio can cover
all three bands with module exchange, VHF low, VHF high,
and UHF, all
NBFM.
***********************************************
MEMBERS WRITE;
More Racal Syncal
30,
Havent had a
chance to read the last three mails, will do that this evening.
but
reason I am writing is I have found a local guy
who can machine
Syncal antenna adaptors for those who might
want them. Not
sure of cost just yet, but it will not be much.
Another question,
know of anyone who mght have some more of those remotes
for sale? I am
missing the "remote" end. I finally got those manuals in and
the thing is
almost stupidly simple, so it might be just as easy to build one
in a nice sturdy
watertight box ( to give it that MIL look.... ) .
Take care
"Beware the
lollipop of mediocrity; lick it once
and you'll suck
forever."
Tom
badger@telalink.net
ed) the antenna
adapter Tom speaks of will allow the us of standard US PRC/whip
antennas.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> US MILITARY
PORTABLE RADIOS; PART I,
> By Alan
D. Tasker WA1NYR
> <atasker@ix.netcom.com>
Hey, great
article!
--
Mark J. Blair,
KE6MYK <mblair@gruumsh.irv.ca.us>
ed) glad you like
it, theres a lot more to come.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Communications
Trailer ?
I recently
was directed to a gentleman who has a Military Surplus Trailer
that appears to
be used for Communications Equipment; the following
data was obtained from
the Identification Plates on the Trailer:
SEMI-TRAILER
VAN
ELECTRONIC
6 TON
2
WHEEL M373A2C
GRAMM
TRAILER CORP.
LIMA,
OH
SER:
62368
MAN:
II-30-60
CONTRACT #: DA-33-019-0RD-3001
The current
owner would like to know what this particular trailer was used for
when used by
the Military. I am a 2 way
radio dealer in Marysville, CA ; 45
miles
North of Sacramento, CA (State Capitol) who gets
asked questions regarding
Surplus Military Radios and Accessories. Your
assistance in this matter would
be greatly appreciated.
Ernie Sakamoto
Rising Sun
Communications
P. O. Box 2691
Marysville, CA
95901-2691
Office:
530-743-4996
FAX:
530-743-0860
Pager:
916-816-5716
Email:
rscomm@juno.comm
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BC-1000/VRC-3
Mounts ?
Dennis,
The BC-1000
(AN/VRC-3) when mounted in a vehicle uses what mount? I was told
the
FT-250, but can't see how. Was same mount used for tanks?
Ed Guzick
<guzick@worldnet.att.net>
ed) that's a real
good question and one I've pondered over for some time.
As the story
goes, the FT-250 was used to mount the BC-1000(with standard
battery alone, and
not the PE-114) in tanks. It was then used as a liaison radio with
supporting
Infantry in much the same way the RT-70 would be used at a later
date. A
vertical mount was also available for mounting the radio in
landing craft, I do
not know it's number, or if it ever had one. I have no idea what
mount was used
with the BC-1000 and it's vehicular power supply, but I do know it
will not fit
in an FT-250. Could the same mount as used on the landing craft
have also been
used in vehicles?
***********************************************
DAVE's GOT
MANUALS TA GET RID OF;
TM 11-263
Technical Manual for
Radio Set
AN/GRC-9, with large bound
Supplement to TM
11-263, Excellent
condition $20.
TM 11-300
Technical Manual for Frequency Meter
Sets SCR-211,
(for BC-221, all
models),
with supplement,
$12
TM 11-5506
Technical Manual for
Radio Set
AN/FRC-6,
with two
supplements, $7
Teletype Corporation
Model 31 Aircraft teleprinter, part of
TT-30/AGA-1. See Teletype model 31 under
"Other"
catagory.
TM 11-2571
Battery Tester TS-183/U $2 (2 avail).
NAVSHIPS 91255
Instruction Book for Radio Test Set
AN/PRM-1,
Stoddart Aircraft
Radio Company,
covering all
those Stoddart RFI units
and receivers you
have in the garage.
Nice black and
gold binder. $15
TM 11-1034
Handbood of Maint. Instructions Test Oscillator
TS-47/APR. $5 (2 avail).
NAVSHIPS
900,474-IB, Instruction Book for RCA Navy TDQ,
excellent black
and gold binder. 264 pp. with folder of
diagrams in back which appears complete. $25
T.O.12R2-2ART-13-1
Handbook of Operating Instructions
for AN/ART-13 and
Navy ATC, ATC-1. 95 pp plus diagrams
and loose-leaf
schematic. Factory staples; intended
to be put in your
own binder. Good condition. $20
RCA
Communications Set AN/ARC-21, Schematic Diagrams
with Lists of
Terminals. Nicely bound set of 35+ fold-out
diagrams on this radio. $7
AN 16-30APR4-3
Handbook of Maintenance Instructions
Receiving
Equipment AN/APR-4. With factory modification tech
order flyer and revisions. Factory staples.
$10
TM 11-605 Radio
Sets SCR-509 and SCR-510,
which include the
BC-620 and PE-97 (2 avail) $7
TM 11-5052
Crystal Impedance Meter TS-537/TSM $2
TM 11-881
Technical Manual for Army-inducted
Hallicrafters
S-37 VHF receiver. Nice condition,
with supliment. $12
Instruction Book
for Hallicrafters Exciter Unit O-5/FR
(2 avail). $5
NAVSHIPS 900,777
Instruction Book for
Remote
Control-Indicator Systems
Utilizing Navy
types CQC-23445, --23497, -20409. $3
TM 11-2137
Telegraph-Telephone Signal
Converter
TA-182/U $3
TM 11-455 Radio
Fundimentals. A bit worn,
but still very
servicable. $8
T.O.12R5-2ARN5-2
Handbook of Service Instructions
Radio Receiving
Equipment AN/ARN-5.
Sold as a set
with:
An 08-30ARN5-2
Handbook of Operating Instructions
for Radio
Receiving Equipments AN/ARN-5
Factory staples-
you supply binder. $7
Preliminary
Instructions for Radio Receivers
BC-312 and
BC-342. Original pages with photocopied
cover. Also includes--
TM 11-850
Technical Manual for
Radio Receivers
BC-312, BC-314, BC-342 and BC-344
(photocopy). In binder $8
T.O.31R1-4-14-2
Handbook of Service Instructions
Frequency Shift
Keyer Type 105 Model 4
Northern Radio
Company. Factory stapled. $3
TM 11-897 /
T.O.31R2-2FRR-121 Radio Receiver
R-274/FRR. In binder, with supliments $5
TM 11-2203
Teletypewriter Sets AN/TGC-1 $5
TM 11-446
Technical Manual for Panaoramic
Adaptors BC-1031 and BC-1032,
with revision.
$8
TM 11-618A
Technical Manual for
Radio Set
AN/TRC-8, Radio Terminal Set TRC-11,
Radio Relay Set
TRC-12 and Amplifier TRA-19. $10
T.O.31S2-2TXC1-1
Handbook of Maintenance Instructions
AN/TXC-1
Facsimile Sets. Loose leaf.
Sold as a set
with manuals for Acme Radio
Converter and
Radio Inverter. $7
TM 11-2272
Teletypewriter Page-Printing Mechanisms
(Kleinschmidt).
Covers the desription, theory of operation
and maintenance
of Kleinschmidt page printing units. $7
Air Force
On-The-Job Training package for Ground
Communications Equipment Repairman
96D, O-5/FR, R274A/FR,
AN/TRD-4 January 1961.
Interesting. $3.
NAVSHIPS
900,527-IB Preliminary Instruction Book for Radio Receiving
Equipment Model RDO. Good $8
TM 11-257
Frequency Shift Exciter O-39/TRA-7 $5
TM 11-600 Radio
Sets SCR-508 and SCR-528 and VRC-5.
Contains BC-603,
BC-604 and accessories. (2 avail) $7
TM 11-242
Technical Manual for Radio Set SCR-300-A
Covers the
BC-1000 and accessories. $12
TM 11-315
Technical Manual for Maintenance
Equipment ME-40 and Maintenance Kit
ME-53, used to service
the SCR-300
(BC-1000) $5
AN 08-30ARC-1-2
Handbook of Operating Instructions
for AN/ARC-1
Aircraft Radio Equipment. Bound photocopy
with schematic. $5
TM 11-872A
Technical Manual
Diversity
Receiving Equipment AN/FRR-3A.
Prelim/prototype
book. Bound $4
NAVSHIPS 900,411
Instruction Book for National Radio
Company Navy Models
RBH-1, RBH-2,
RBH-3.
Complete with the
fold-out diagrams
in the envelope
glued inside the back cover.
Bound and in very
good condition. $20
TM 11-295 Radio
Receiving Set AN/GRR-5
covering the
R-174 and PP-308 $10
Set of
Instruction Books for Radio Set
AN/VRC-19 and R-394.
Two books. Lots
of info. $8
NAVSHIPS 900,617
Instruction Book for
National Company
Inc.
Radio Receiving
Equipment Navy Model RDZ.
Excellent black
and gold binder.
Complete with large
fold-out charts
in the envelope glued
to the inside
cover. $10
Dave Stinson
<arc5@ix.netcom.com>
***********************************************
HUMOR, ???
To Give Someone
The Bird: Its Origin and Meaning(As If We Didn't Know)
Before the
Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over
the English,
proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English
soldiers.
Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw
the renowned English
longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the
future.
This famous
weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of
drawing the
longbow was known as "plucking the yew." Much to the
bewilderment of
the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the
French by
waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See,
we can
still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!". Over the years,
some 'folk etymologies'
have grown up around this
symbolic
gesture. Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say like
"pleasant
mother pheasant plucker", (which is who you had to go to for the
feathers
used on the arrows for the longbow), the difficult consonant
cluster at the
beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F',
and thus the
words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are
mistakenly
thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter. It is
also because
of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the symbolic gesture
is known as
"giving the bird".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heard on a
Chicago radio station this morning:
Students riot at
Penn State university. It seems the students became upset when
they
found out that all classes ended a couple of weeks ago.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Fork
The sound
of Martha's voice on the other end of the telephone always
brought a smile
to Brother Jim's face. She was not only one of the oldest
members of the
congregation, but one of the most faithful. Aunt Martie, as all
the
children called
her, just seemed to ooze faith, hope and love wherever she
went.
This time,
however, there seemed to be an unusual tone to her words.
"Preacher,
could you stop by this afternoon? I need to talk with you."
"Of course.
I'll be there around three, Is that okay?"
As they sat
facing each other in the quiet of her small living room,
Jim learned the
reason for what he sensed in her voice. Martha shared the
news that her
doctor had just discovered a previously undetected tumor.
"He says I
probably have six months to live." Martha's words were
certainly
serious,yet there was a definite calm about her.
"I'm so
sorry to . . . " but before Jim could finish, Martha interrupted.
"Don't be.
The Lord has been good. I have lived a long life. I'm ready to go.
I know
that." "I know," Jim whispered with a reassuring nod. "But I do
want to talk with you about my funeral. I have been thinking
about it, and there are things that I know I want."
The two talked
quietly for a long time. They talked about Martha's favorite
hymns,
the passages of Scripture that had meant so much to her
through the
years, and the many memories they shared from the five years Jim
had been with
Central Church.
When it seemed
that they had covered just about everything, Aunt Martie paused,
looked up at Jim with a twinkle in her eye, and then added, "One
more thing,
preacher. When they bury me, I want my old Bible in one hand
and a fork in the other.
"A fork?" Jim was sure he had heard everything, but this caught
him
by surprise.
"Why do you want to be buried with a fork?"
"I have
been thinking about all of the church dinners and banquets that I
attended through the years," she explained. "I couldn't
begin to
count them all.
But one thing sticks
in my mind." At those really nice get-togethers, when the
meal was almost
finished, a server or maybe the hostess would come by to collect
the dirty
dishes.
I can hear the
words now. Sometimes, at the best ones, somebody would lean over
my shoulder
and whisper, `You can keep your fork.' And do you know what that
meant? Dessert was
coming! "It didn't mean a cup of Jell-O or pudding or even
ice cream.
You don't need a
fork for that. It meant the good stuff, like caramel cake
or apple cobbler!
When they told me I could keep my fork, I knew the best was
yet to come!
"That's exactly what I want people to talk about at my funeral.
Oh,
they can talk
about all the good times we had together. That would be
nice. "But
when they walk by my casket and look at my pretty blue dress,
I
want them to
turn to each other and say, `Why the fork?'
"That's what
I want you to say. I want you to tell them that I kept my fork
because
the best is yet to come."
***********************************************
HUMOR;
I woke up early
feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought,
"I'm another year older" but decided not to dwell on it. So I
showered and
shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet
me
with a big kiss and say, "Happy birthday, dear."
All smiles, I
went into breakfast, and there sat my wife reading the newspaper
as
usual. She didn't say one word. So I got myself a cup of coffee
and
thought, "Oh well, she forgot. The kids will be down in a few
minutes they
will sing Happy Birthday' and have a nice gift for me."
There I sat,
enjoying my coffee, and I waited. Finally the kids came running
into the
kitchen yelling, "Give me a slice of toast." "I'm late."
"Where is my coat?" "I'm going to miss the bus." Feeling
more depressed than
ever, I left for the office.
When I walked
in, my secretary greeted me with a great big smile and a cheerful,
"Happy birthday, boss." She then asked if she could get me some
coffee. Her
remembering my birthday made me feel a whole lot better.
Later in the
morning, my secretary knocked on my office door and said "Since
it's
your birthday, why don't we have lunch together?' Thinking it
would make me
feel better, I said, "That's a good idea."
So we locked up
the office, and because it was my birthday, I said, "Why don't
we drive out of town and have lunch in the country, instead of
going to the
usual place?" So we drove out of town and went to a little
out-of-the-way inn and had a couple of martinis and a nice
lunch. We
started driving back to town when my secretary said, "why don't we
go by
my place, and I will fix you another martini?" It sounded
like a
good idea, because we didn't have much to do in the office.
So we
went to her apartment, and she fixed some martinis.
After a while,
she said, "If you will excuse me, I think I will slip into
something
more comfortable," and she left the room. In a few minutes,
she
opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday
cake.
Following her were my wife and all my kids. And there I sat
with
nothing on but my socks.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is two
o'clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when
suddenly
the phone rings. The husband
picks up the phone and says, "Hello? How the heck do I know?
What am I, the
weather man?" promptly slamming the phone down. His wife
rolls
over and asks, "Who was that?" The husband
replies, "I don't know, it was some guy who wanted to know
if the coast was
clear."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It has come to
our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of
windows 98 may
have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama.
If you have one
of the Alabama editions you may need some help
understanding
the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by
looking at the
opening screen.
It reads WINDERS
98 with a background picture of the General Lee super
imposed on a
Confederate flag.
It is shipped
with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
Also note the
Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called
This Infernal
Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol'
Boys,
Control Panel is
known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to
as
4 wheel drive,
and floppies are them little ole plactic disc thangs.
Other features:
Instead of a
error message you get a winder covered with a garbage
bag
and
duct tape.
OK
=
ats aww-right
cancel =
hail no
reset =
awa shoot
yes
=
shore
no
=
Naaaa
find
=
hunt-fer it
go to =
over yonder
back =
back yonder
help
=
hep me out here
stop =
ternit off
start =
crank it up
settings = sittins
programs =
stuff at does stuff
documents =
stuff I done done
Also note that
winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation
marks.
Some programs
that are exclusive to winders 98
tiperiter...........A
word processor
colering
book.......a graphics program addin
mershene............calculator
outhouse paper
.....notepad
jupe-box
...........CD Player
iner-net............Microsoft
Explorer
pichers.............A
graphics viewer
IRS.................M/S
accounting software
IRS2................M/S
accounting software with hidden files coon
dog.
...........American kennel club records
fishin..............Bass
Anglers Sportsman Society records
NRA.................National
Rifle Association
shot gun
...........Remington Arms price list
riffel..............Winchester
price list
pisstel.............Smith
& Wesson price list
truck...............Ford
&Chevrolet dealers in Alabama. by zip code
house...............Nearest
Mobile home repair service by zip code
car
................same as truck just need two list in Alabami
cuzzins.............family
history usually a 3 meg file
tax
records.........usually an empty file
shells..............ammunition
inventory another 3 meg file
bud.................list
of Budwiser dealers by zip code
rasin...............NASCAR
racing schedule includes list of TV stations
that carry the
race
car n truck
Parts...nearest Junk yard by zip code
doc
................veterinarians by zip code
We regret any
inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of
the Alabama
edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a
replacement
version.
***********************************************
(The preceding
was a product of the"Military Collector Group Post", an
international
email magazine dedicated to the preservation of history and the
equipment that
made it. Unlimited circulation of this material is authorized so
long as the
proper credits to the original authors, and publisher or this
group are
included. For more information conserning this group contact
Dennis Starks at,
military-radio-guy@juno.com)
***********************************************
http://www.prc68.com/MCGP/MCGP.html