From: Dennis R Starks To: PasqualeNJ@aol.com,kg0qe@juno.com,w0nbz@juno.com,jawbrey@juno.com, lee@vtw.net,pmonroe@inwave.com,cranwill@roanoke.infi.net, ranickel@mwci.net,peterada@mindspring.com,haffner@mcs.net, eldim@worldnet.att.net,dr@cei.net,mrhro@pdq.net, kargokult@proaxis.com,ip500@roanoke.infi.net,bstrang@iac.net, jay_coward@agilent.com,AAFRadio@erols.com, jupeter@net-tech.com.au,rzelick@inetarena.com,ae4zh@juno.com, fsglong@mscomm.com,noel@mail.li.com,tactcom@rocketmail.com, davprin@gil.com.au,wa5cmi@access1.net,badger@telalink.net, smithab1@bellatlantic.net,jproc@idirect.com,marmot@core.com, torchboots@email.msn.com,adrian_heinrich@hotmail.com, wb4lzq@atl.mindspring.com,DKWkid@aol.com,TVComlGuy@aol.com, located@worldnet.att.net,tscm@jps.net,janschrader@juno.com, richwurtz@juno.com,carmelo.litrico@ctonline.it, jlbowers@planetkc.com,rbrunner@gis.net, spencer12345@classic.msn.com,d2012pn1@ozemail.com.au, dgrev@apollo.ruralnet.net.au,ae4in@webshoppe.net, peter@bergent.net,l.meulstee@wxs.nl Date: Tue, 28 Dec 1999 02:35:44 -0600 Subject: MILITARY COLLECTOR GROUP POST, Dec.28/99 Message-ID: <19991228.023546.-116687.11.military-radio-guy@juno.com> X-Mailer: Juno 4.0.5 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Full-Name: Dennis R Starks X-Status: Sent X-Juno-Line-Breaks: 0-17,21,26,30,37-39,52,65,80,85,91-92,94-96,100-101,103,107,110-111,128,134-135,140-145,151-152,164-165,173-179,188,199-200,202,204,207-214,216,218-219,221-227,229-231,233-235,237,239,241,243,245-250,252,254-258,260,262-280,282-297,301-306,308-309,311-322,324-326,328-336,338,340-354,356-357,359-373,379-380,385-386,392-393,396-404,406,408,410-413,415-417,419-425,427,429-433,437-446,448-449,451-461,463-467,469-477,479-644,646-647,649-652,654-659,661-665,667-678,680-682,684-701 X-Juno-Att: 0 X-Juno-Fcc: Sent Items X-Juno-Size: 31073 X-Juno-RefParts: 0 MILITARY COLLECTOR GROUP POST, Dec.28/99 Index: MORE ODDBALL MOTOROLA PARA-MILITARY RADIOS; This Time SSB Types. Part II, by Dennis Starks MEMBERS WRITE; Odd-Ball Military SSB Radios, German/North African Code Breaking? On-Line Banking, NEW MEMBERS; Edward Kolenda Jim Chase Mario Galasso, HUMOR; *********************************************** MORE ODDBALL MOTOROLA PARA-MILITARY RADIOS; This Time SSB Types. Part II, by Dennis Starks MICOMs Continued, My second acquaintance with a MICOM came some years later at a hamfest in Little Rock Arkansas. Here, a part time surplus dealer had a stack of the trunk mount versions, all housed in the same cabinet as the FM MOCOM-70. The only thing that gave them away as being HF/SSB, as apposed to VHF or UHF/FM, was the unusual number of controls, and channel capacity on it's control head, which was otherwise also a typical MOCOM-70 type. I was told that they came from a military base in Tennessee, so nuf said, I bought a couple of um. The control head for this radio has controls for squelch, channels selection(1-12), RF gain, volume, clarifier(fine tune), a slide switch to select modes of USB/LSB/AM. Panel lights are included to indicate power on, and transmit conditions. Internally it is very similar to, and has the same construction as, the Consolet versions that I'd previously owned. It too is of an all solid state, broadband, no-tune design. There is space in the Oscillator oven for 20 crystals(even though the control head will only select 12). Sideband filters for LSB & USB are present, but none for AM. This unit has the NSN number of 5820-00-R101722, and the Motorola Model number of T80SBA1800BK. Neither of these numbers show up in a search of Fedlog-95*. Motorola's Only Known Back-Pack SSB Radio(SA-200 series), Some years ago Steve Haney offered me as trading fodder, several most interesting little HF/SSB transceivers that he had acquired via a local Federal GSA sale. They would become one of the most mysterious radios in my collection. Unlike any item of Motorola equipment I had ever seen, they had no form of the familiar coded model numbers that they have always used. Additionally, though the radios were virtually identical in every respect, some were branded Motorola while others had data tags that listed a different model number and company, CAI (Communications Asso.Inc.)*,Type CA-32. Years of writing letters to every Motorola division I could locate an address for, and badgering every Motorola insider I knew, produced nothing other than denials that these radios ever existed. Then finally, a member of this Group turned up an example of his own, along with, a MANUAL! Two things made these radios so mysterious, and spawned my intense desire to learn more about them. The first was that they were obviously intended to serve in a low-budget tactical military role. The second, they boar a very striking resemblance in physical form, function, and purpose, to the OPS*(Office of Public Safety) series of radio equipment built by Hallicrafters(or it's various parent companies) between 1960 & 1975. The most famous of these being those included in the Village & Hamlet radio system of Vietnam. It had also been learned some years before, that Motorola did supply radios for use by the OPS, but it was not known what model radios. These SA-200 series radios had the same physical design and appearance, the same simple operation, they used the same mounting types, the same ancillary equipment, and the same appeal to the budget minded(which was a primary requirement for the OPS series). The basic SA-200 radio(though none were ever marked 200) is a relatively small, light weight set of backpack size, and semigloss OD in color. It was all solid state, operates on two crystal controlled channels(optional, ch.1 3-7mc, ch.2 7-12mc) between 3-12mc, with an RF power output of 20 watts. Selectable USB, LSB and CW were standard. The radio proper operates from 24vdc(transmitter), and 12vdc(receiver) which is supplied by various external power supplies. A "D" cell battery box, 110vac power supply/charger, and a 12vdc power supply were all available as options dependant on the set's intended application. Each power supply type could be clipped to the bottom of the radio when in use, in the same fashion, using the same hasp fasteners as on most military radios. When not in use, the power supply was clipped backwards over the front panel of the radio providing a water tight seal for safe transport or storage(this is an exclusive feature found so far only on OPS series portables!). Front panel controls include volume, USB/LSB/TUNE switch, meter function BATTERY/REFLECTED/OUTPUT, and a two channel selector switch. Also present on the front panel are the RF/battery meter, loud speaker, hand-held microphone(hard wired), and connections for power, antenna(SO-239), CW Key & headphones(both 1/4" phone jacks). As noted above, the SA-200 is a series of multi purpose portable transceivers, though none of them is marked as SA-200. The actual model numbers span from SA-210 to SA-242(mine is a SA-211). All the radios, regardless of model number, are basically the same. The differences in model numbers reflect the differing options or accessories that the basic radio was supplied with as a system. These options were as follows: SA-210, Manpack use, was supplied without crystals, with a battery box & nicad battery kit, knapsack, and portable telescoping antenna. SA-211, as above but with crystals for one channel. SA-212, as above but with crystals for two channels. SA-220, billed as for fixed station use, it is the same radio set as the SA-210 but a 110vac power supply/charger has been substituted for the battery box & knapsack, and included in the accessoies was a dipole antenna, random wire antenna, and antenna tuner. SA-221, same as above but supplied with crystals for one channel. SA-222, same as above but supplied with crystals for two channels, and a dual dipole kit. SA-230, was used as a portable station, accessories supplied were the same as the fixed stations but the 110vac power supply is replaced by a battery box, and 12vdc power supply. SA-231 one channel, SA-232 two channel. SA-240's were vehicular versions supplied with a battery box, 12vdc power supply, mobile antenna, and mounting kits. SA-241 one channel, SA-242 two channel. As I noted above, when I first received these radios I set about doing everything I could to identify them. This included guessing the dates that they might have been built and used. My estimates of their design dates were no later than the mid sixties, and this was based on two points. First was the circuit design, and the component types that were used. Second, the method of construction. Component types used include all Germanium transistors, and large metal can IF & RF transformers(a complete set for each channel). Discrete crystals in the side band filter(not the potted & canned types in widespread use by the late 60's). The method of chassis construction, and wiring also suggest early sixties as the latest inception date. They do not use printed circuit boards, but point to point, under chassis wiring(a method abandoned shortly after tubes were deemed obsolete). Everything about this series of radios, and what was going on in the area of military HF communications in the 60's*, suggest a date of absolutely no later than 1968, and possibly as early as 1960., even though the manuals have copy write dates spanning from 1969 to 1979. In contrast, the OPS/SBT-18(a very similar radio built by Hallicrafters beginning in 1969) used plug-in card PC board construction, IC's, Canned crystal filters, and in general was a far more advanced design. Even 11 meter Citizens Band radio's had progressed far beyond the technology, and techniques used in the manufacture of the SA-200 series by the date their manuals would suggest. The next installment of this series will pick up with the radio that prompted this artilce, the SA-100 series. Then include a little on the current state of the Motorola MICOM series. It will conclude with some model numbers for other Motorola SSB types for which we have no information at all. Dennis Starks; Collector/Historian Midwest Military Communications Museum email: military-radio-guy@juno.com *) Federal Logistic Data on Compact Disk(Fedlog) Is a listing of equipment, manufacturers, etc used by the U.S. Military and various other government agencies. It is contained on four CD's and cross list equipment by common name, model number, manufacturer, NSN etc. It is available to Government agencies, and their contractors only. Mine is the 1995 version and had a cost of over $350. *) Over the years there has been quite a few companies named "Communications Associates Inc.", and Fedlog list a number of these as government contractors. However, this particular company based out of New Hyde Park, New York, is not listed. We might speculate as to the reason that there would be identical radios, but being branded with a different manufacturers name, and model number(other than the normal "second source" reason which historicly seldom applied to Motorola anyway). My guess is that in typical Motorola fashion, they found insufficient profit in continued production of this equipment but federal law, and possibly unfulfilled contracts mandated that if they wanted to cease production, they would be required to sell the production rights to a company that would in turn honor any existing support requirements. *) The "Office of Public Safety" was a front organization for the CIA that was initiated and operational by 1958(though called by other names until about 1961). Though their influence was restricted to the whole of Southeast Asia(not just Vietnam), evidence suggest that the equipment that had been designed and built exclusively for their purposes were distributed all over the world. After the Vietnam war, quantities of this equipment found use in various other government applications. For more information on this organization & some of their equipment, see: MCGP Backmail #30; OPS/Village & Hamlet Radios & System. Letter from me to Keith Melton describing the radios, history, & The man that made it happen.(Hallicrafters,Hammerland,etc), by Dennis Starks *) The demand for SSB equipment began to escalate for lower echelon government applications in 1958 when commercial equipment was acquired for service with advisers in South East Asia. The widespread replacement of AM/HF modulation in front line Army tactical units began with the adoption of the GRC-106 in about 1959. By 1965 SSB equipment was being tested or used by small combat units(usually Special Forces). By 1968 the transition from AM to SSB was pretty much complete at all levels in U.S. Military combat units. At this same time, the Army ordered that MARS stations could no longer use AM as a mode of voice communications. Throughout the years from 1962-1970 a long list of deferent SSB radios were acquired for field research, testing, limited use, special applications etc. Often times this equipment was purchased more or less Off-The-Shelf, or was slightly modified commercial equipment. In 1968 this trend exploded with a clammer to find equipment suited for use mandated by the No-More-AM order. Only very few of these would be adopted as standard equipment. The PRC-74(Hughes HC-162), PRC-104(Sunair PRC-20/6), URC-32(Collins KWT-6), URC-58(Navy Harris RF-301), GRC-165(Army Harris RF-301), and FRC-93(Collins KWM-2) all began life as commercial radios and were used both in their commercial & military configurations. For more information on SSB in Southeast Asia from 1958-1975, and the Office of Public Safety, see: Military Communications, A TEST FOR TECHNOLOGY, The US Army in Vietnam. by John D.Bergen, CMH Pub 91-12. (This book should still be available from the Government Printing Office, and is a MUST HAVE for every person interested in military history & communications.) *********************************************** MEMBERS WRITE; Odd-Ball Military SSB Radios, Hi Dennis, The dissertation on Micoms reminds me that I picked up three Motorola antenna tuners for mobile use that were designed for use with the Micom series (later ones). They have a serial data line that was used for simple tune, hold and bypass commands and look for all the world like the ICOM AH series or Alinco autotuners. These were in use with some of the Army interagency vehicular transmitters and installed in vehicles garaged at the Pentagon. Can't imagine why they wouldn't simply have used a UHF link unless they potentially ranged far from base, but that is the reliable story. Picked up another item from a DRMO sale. I have a land mobile SSB XCVR setup mfg by Dataworld, (that was used by the Marine Corp in SC), reminiscent of these types of setups. This 12 or 24 Volt Solid State, under dash system used 4 (or optionally eight) channels, each frequency determined by a single crystal. They have a black anodized finish rather than OD. Ops are 3.0-18.00 MHz at 125 Watts PEP and like the Micoms, have the filter networks range-selectable by diode. There were three neat features. One is a Selcall option (installed)indicating exceptional stability. The second is an auto level adjusting squelch with pulse noise blanker. The third is a very odd antenna tuner. Instead of this one being truly auto tune as above, it was rather a manually tuned auto select which is sensible for a radio operating on USB on only 4 frequencies. There is a tapped coil with capacitative shunts and variable inductances determined by 4 strange sliding ferrite gizmos. The channel is relay selected for each fixed-tune segment. It is intended to be used with a whip and is weatherproof. Probably the most interesting piece of information had to do with the technical manual. The company is still in existence and builds commo gear for industry and DOD, and when I asked about the service manual, I was told that yes, it is available but for 150$! Sed to the guy, "I really don't want it that badly", but several weeks later it showed up in the mail - gratis. So I could copy for needy group members. Now one of the units is in use in ARMY MARS and the better cosmetic one sits in my collection. Total cost of both acquisitions was $75 along with a ton of other junk. I see these things every once in a while, so they aren't rare, but they are unique! Later, Charlie ----------------------------------------------------------------- German/North African Code Breaking? Dennis, Currently I research the history of Egypt during the WW II. In a book on the German Arab relations of that time I read that the Italian Intel intercepted in February 1942 some messages from Egyptian King Faruq addressed to their Washington's embassy. Furthermore, I read that the Nazi Abwehr was able to crack the US ciphers used by the US Embassy in Cairo, apparently from July 1941. There was a note that the US Military Attaché, Col. Feller, was sending every day reports on the strength of the British Army in Egypt, and these messages were intercepted and deciphered for Rommel's use. This was quoted to support the theory about the key to Rommel's successes between late 1941 up to 9 Feb. 1942, when the allied realized what has happened and changed the ciphers. The above information can be found in Paul Johnson's history of the XX century, as well as in Sir W. Churchill's wartime diaries. What do you think on this? Is it true? Or was it just a game to deceive the Germans? Jan Bury e-mail: yahya@orient.uw.edu.pl Ed) While I have never done any research on this subject, I have seen a couple of programs recently aired on PBS, The History Channel, and Discovery Channel that do touch on this subject, and seem to collaborate that info you have read. ------------------------------------------------------------------ On-Line Banking, Hi Just found an online bank that gives you $20 for using their services. They provide electronic banking. It would be great for buying and selling our Boatanchors. It would save having to get a cashiers check or waiting for a check to arrive. I just signed up and thought I would pass this on if you are interested. If not just dump it in the junk mail can. Mike N6WIG Here is some info: X.com is a financial services website that makes it easy to move and to manage money online. I've recently opened an account at X, and they instantly gave me $20. Signing up is quick, easy, and there is absolutely no obligation. When you sign up and are approved for an account, X.com will give you $20, too! Click this link to sign up and see what I mean: https://www.x.com/new_account.asp?Referrer=N6WIG@netscape.net Signing up takes less than 2 minutes! After you sign up, you can participate in the X.com Refer-a-Friend program. That means that you'll get an email like this to send to friends and family, and X.com will give YOU $10 for each friend or family member (up to 100) that signs up and is approved. Why wait? There's no fee, no hassle & no obligation! Mikhael Brown Software Design Engineer (650) 236-8155 California Analytical Division Agilent Technologies *********************************************** NEW MEMBER; Edward Kolenda dear sir i would very much be intrested in joining you organization, to tell you a little about my self, i am a air force veteran 1968-1972, always liked working on radio equipment , especially tube sets, i can repair and restore almost anything. i have a complete shop for from metal working to a nicely equiped electronics lab, i have always been intrested in aquireing military radios and especially to get them working , i am looking to start collecting. as of now i have nothing in the way of military radios, so if you can help i would like to get a few radios to start, i live in brooklyn new york , if there is anything more that you would like to know ,just ask. sincerely, Edward Kolenda Ed) we'll see what we can do about your lack of radio equipment. ----------------------------------------------------------------- James F. (Jim) Chase (Age 76) Amateur Historian (Airways Electronics) I do not collect, rebuild nor vend artifacts. Development and application of ground based electronic communications equipment and air navigation used by military and commercial organizations is my area of research. Activities of the US Army Airways Communications System a.k.a. USAF Airways & Air Communications Service (AACS) and Pan American World Airways (PAA) are principal interests. My reference library includes microfilm and texts concerning the Hump Airlift, Berlin Airlift, North Atlantic and South Atlantic Ferry Routes, and PAA pioneering activities along it many routes. A local reference library service provides additional research material. Photographs are limited in number and quality. Hands-on experience includes: AACS radio operator, radio technician and Phillco technical representative (1943-53); underwater sound projects, Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution (1954); operation and maintenance of telemetry, precision timing and c-w tracking systems at the USAF Eastern Space and Missile Center (1955-88). (Counting backwards from ten to zero was not troublesome so I became a senior technical manager with RCA.) I am willing to help others and to abide by your organization rules and procedures, noting time will be shared with a self-owned pocket billiards league serviced four days a week. Jim Chase ------------------------------------------------------------------ Mario Galasso, Hello Dennis, I just received your invitation and this message is the request to include my address in your list. I fully accept the rules and here it is short personal profile. My name is Mario Galasso. Born in Rome 60 years ago. I am a Radio amateurs but use only Ex-Military rigs. My shack has no Jap or commercial sets. I prefer to work with Vintage sets mainly in CW also if I have sets for AM or SSB. My interest is Technical/Historical for military radios. I am not a collector although I have many sets because I use them. Usually I look for the TM or Info. My expertice are of Italian sets specially for WW2 period. I've written a book titled "La Radio in Grigio Verde" (In Italian language), and inspite the language problem has been sold also in Japan. This book describe WW2 Italian army radio sets. I read many your articles (Excellent) and for me to be in your group will be a big honor. Merry Xmas, Happy new year and prosperous Millenium Mario - IK0MOZ *********************************************** HUMOR; Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn't help but stare. When she passed them, smiled and said, "Good morning, Father," "Good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by, they were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests? The next day, they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits -- these were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them -- and again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc. After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini this time, came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.) Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: "Good morning, Father," "Good morning, Father," and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn't stand it and said, "Just a minute, young lady. Yes, we are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?" "Oh, Father, don't you recognize me? I'm sister Angela!" ------------------------------------------------------------------ Useful Info for Speeding Tickets I tried to pass this on to anyone I could think of. I know for a fact that this works so if you ever get in this situation, you have an out This procedure works in any state. Read it and try it, you have nothing to loose but the points in your license. If you get a speeding ticket or went through a red light or whatever the case may be, and you are going to get points on your license, then there is a method to ensure that you DO NOT get any points. When you get your fine, send in the check to pay for it and if the fine is, say, $79, then make the check out for $82 or some small amount above the fine. The system will then have to send you back a check for the difference, but here is the trick! ---DO NOT CASH THE CHECK!! Throw it away! Points are not assessed to your license until all the financial transactions are complete. If you do not cash the check, then the transactions are not complete. However the system has gotten its money so it is happy and will not bother you any more. SOURCE: Thoonen Production Administrator RACV Touring Publications. >> ------------------------------------------------------------------ T'was the night before Y2K, And all through the nation We awaited The Bug, The Millennium sensation. The chips were replaced In computers with care, In hopes that ol' Bugsy Wouldn't stop there. While some folks could think They were snug in their beds Others had visions Of dread in their heads. And Ma with her PC, And I with my Mac Had just logged on the Net And kicked back with a snack. When over the server, There arose such a clatter! I called Mister Gates To see what was the matter. But he was away, So I flew like a flash Off to my bank To withdraw all my cash. When, what with my wandering Eyes should I see? My good old Mac Looked sick to me. The hack of all hackers Was looking so smug, I knew that it must be The Y2K Bug! His image downloaded In no time at all, He whistled and shouted, Let all systems fall ! Go Intel! Go Gateway! Now HP! Big Blue! Everything Compaq, And Pentium too! All processors big, All processors small, Now, crash away! Crash away! Crash away all! As I drew in my breath And was turning around, Out through the modem, He came with a bound. He was covered with fur, And slung on his back Was a sack full of virus's, Set for attack. His eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples-how merry! As midnight approached, though Things soon became scary. He was chubby and plump, Perpetually grinning, And I laughed when I saw him Though my hard drive stopped spinning. A wink of his eye, And a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know A new feeling of dread. He spoke not a word, But went straight to his work, He changed all the clocks, Then turned with a jerk. With a twitch of his nose, And a quick little wink, All things electronic Soon went on the blink. He zoomed from my system, To the next folks on line, He caused such a disruption, Could this be a sign? Then I heard him exclaim, With a loud, hearty cry, Happy Y2K to all, Kiss your PC's goodbye! ------------------------------------------------------------------ This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board So here is this Bricklayer's report: Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning"; as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident reporting form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope. ------------------------------------------------------------------ It was a few days before Thanksgiving. The trip went reasonably well, and Joey was ready to travel. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared irritating elevator renditions of well known Christmas carols. Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, Joey was not in a particularly good mood. Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw some mistletoe hanging. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap imitation with red paint on the rounder parts and green paint on the flatter and pointier parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way. With a considerable degree of annoyance and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant, "Even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a gross mockery of mistletoe." "Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is hanging." (pause) "Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale, which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss." "That's not why it's there." (pause) "Ok, I give up. Why is it there?" "It's there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye." ------------------------------------------------------------------ Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of shame was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear that soothing voice trying to reassure him...Howard, don't worry about it. You're not the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients and you won't be the last. And, you're single. So just let it go." But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality... "Howard, you're a Veterinarian...." *********************************************** The preceding was a product of the"Military Collector Group Post", an international email magazine dedicated to the preservation of history and the equipment that made it. Unlimited circulation of this material is authorized so long as the proper credits to the original authors, and publisher or this group are included. For more information concerning this group or membership contact Dennis Starks at, . A list of selected articles of interest to members can be seen at: http://www.softcom.net/users/buzz/backmail.html ***********************************************