MILITARY COLLECTOR GROUP POST, Aug. 4/98

Index:

ANNOUNCEMENTS;

STRATEGIC BOMBING REBUT; From Lenox Carruth

MEMBERS WRITE;

     Sell A BC-620?

     VRC-12 Whine, PRC-25/77 Module Compatibility?

     Solid State ARC-Type-12 Supplies,

SPECIAL EVENTS REPORT;

     Peotone Illinois, Springfield Mo.

NON-MEMBER STUFF;

GETTIN RID OF MY CAMERA STUFF;

HUMOR;

***********************************************

STRATEGIC BOMBING REBUT; From Lenox Carruth

You wrote:

 

 

History has shown that strategic bombing had little of the desired effect on the German industrial machine.

 

You have fallen prey to modern "revisionist" history.  Most of the revisionists claim that the Allied strategic bombing campaign was worthless because German production was greater near the end of the war then at the start and that poor, innocent civilians were killed.  Let's look at the facts:

 

1.  German industrial production would have been many times greater if they had not been forced to constantly move, hide, diversify and rebuild factories.

 

2.  German petroleum production was almost eliminated by the end of the war by the strategic bombing campaign.

 

3.  Some German engines were forced to use inferior bearings, thus shortening their life, because of the strategic bombing campaign against the ball bearing factories.

 

4.  Many thousands of German troops that could have been much better employed against the Russians or the other Allies were forced to man anti-aircraft guns, searchlights, and radar tracking stations (the Kammhuber Line).

 

5.  Many of Germany's finest pilots were required to man the aircraft fighting the strategic bombing forces.

 

6.  Many of Germany's finest scientists were required to fight the

"radar war" which primarily involved the RAF strategic bombing forces

and night fighters.

 

7.  Many able-bodied Germans were required to fight fires, work in hospitals and at other jobs necessitated by the destruction caused by the strategic bombing forces.

 

8.  Many high-ranking German officers and many civilians turned against Hitler as the destruction of the Homeland mounted.  Many were glad to see the end of the war.  Granted, the will of most of the German people was not broken by the strategic bombing campaign but other results were certainly worth the effort.

 

9.  By the end of the war, production of the V-1 and V-2 weapons had been forced underground and their permanent launching sites destroyed. Research at Peenemunde had been forced to move to other locations.  How much sooner could these weapons have been used if strategic bombing had not caused delays?

 

All of the above can also be applied to the Japanese plus;

 

10. The Japs were unquestionably defeated by the combination of strategic bombing and the naval blockade.

 

It is false to assume that strategic bombing did no good because it did not directly force the defeat of Germany.  (revisionists conveniently ignore the Pacific war)  Strategic bombing, while not the sole means of winning the war, most certainly was a large contribution to the defeat of Germany.  No one factor ever wins a war.  Winning is a combination of

many factors and to expect one to win a war and then condemn it when it does not is folly.

 

All of the above is off the top of my head and could contain errors.  It certainly contains many omissions of other pertinent positive effects of the strategic bombing campaign.

 

Someday, I'll explain to you the error of your thinking about the absolute superiority of Naval radios versus Army radios.  You've been around salt water too long!      ;>}

 

Lenox Carruth

<carruth@geo-thermal.com>

 

 

ed) The subject of the effectiveness of strategic bombing in WW-II, and indeed for the following 25 years has been in hot debate for the last 20 years. I knew when I posted that line that I'd receive some flak from it. I did not say that strategic bombing "did no good". I pondered over the exact wording for quite some time before deciding there was no real way to avoid a tung lashing so just decided to use the words "little of the desired effect".  Note the words "little", and "desired", not "no" and "good"! While all the subjects you list above are perfectly correct, was it the "desired" effect, or a by product? I stand corrected, but the theme of the original comment did not allow for your detailed account.

     I should in all fairness add that the Russians were not the only country to haul off  German technology immediately following the war. The US and other Allied countries did too. But we did not strip the country of every item of industrial significance as did the Russians.

     I will gladly debate the superiority of Naval versus Signal Corps radio  equipment and technology with you, and believe me, you will loose! I agree, salt water did have an adverse effect on me.

***********************************************

MEMBERS WRITE;

Sell A BC-620?

Dennis,

A very good friend asked me to sell a BC-620-A, NIB unopened dated 5/56 and 2, NIB 4A hand mics. I told him I'd ask for a

estimate. Have you any idea what these should go for?

 

Thanks,

Buzz

 

 

ed)  Personally, I would't sell the thing at all, especially to a good friend. I'd make him, or anybody else swap me somethin for it. We can make money very easily in any number of ways, we can't "make" these old radios! Even if you sold the radio to him for say $200(not worth that, just say) what would you do with that? Ya can't go out and buy another, or even somethin else if ya can't find one.

     I have countless radios in my collection worth in excess of $1000, guns and swords worth twice that, and friends in the hobby that are priceless. But believe me none of this was gained with money, I couldn't have paid money for any of it even if I wanted to or were financially able. It was all acquired by swappin, almost without exception. You have a good piece of swappin material there that can take you much farther in "numerous ways" than any amount of money will. If your friend has nothin ta swap, even better! Then you got a spy who's keepin his eye's out for whatever you need! Offer to trade the radio to others, ya can have dozens of spies, or hundreds like me! Sell the radio, then what do you have? Just some money! How long will that last?

     I have stressed the point many times, if you see something at a hamfest, fleamarket, whatever, that's cheep or interesting, buy it! It doesn't matter what it is or if your even interested in it. It does matter that somebody else may be, then you got another tool, and another friend. I spend around $1000 a year in want adds, drive many thousands of miles to hamfest etc. But none of this yeilds anything of merit directly, it's the tidbits of junk I gather up and use to feed my spies that do, that's many of you people if you hadn't guessed.

     Money didn't get me an M-14, a GRC-106 did, money didn't get me a PRC-1, another GRC-106 did, money didn't get me my AR-15, and R-388 did, or a GRA-71 it was an MAY-1, an S-36 was traded for my PRC-5! Money didn't get us our PRC-64's, or PRC-47's in the group project either, it was the friends we've gained and their work and sacrifice of any possible financial gain.

     This group was founded on the idea of the mutual benefit that a sizeable group of people could provide each other. Even the commercial dealers who are members of our group contribute to this mutual benefit, we provide them with an honest market, they provide us with a better than average deal. It looks to me that if you were to sell your BC-620 to the friend for any amount of money, he'd have a nice BC-620, and you'd have gotten screwed. Where's the mutual benefit in that?

     Now off my soap box, your BC-620 was most likely rebuilt in 1956 as none were built after WW-II.

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VRC-12 Whine, PRC-25/77 Module Compatibility?

I'm noticing a buzz or whine in the transmitted audio of some RT-524 and RT-246 radios I've picked up.  On the IFR service monitor, it looks like crud from the DC-DC convertor (high voltage supply) might be doing that?  Quick swaps of the HV power supply module and the entire TX audio module tray did not have much effect.

 

 

Any VRC-12 experts out here?

Also, which modules in the PRC-25 and PRC-77 are compatible?

 

 

Thanks,

 

 

Jay Coote

W6CJ

<JCoote@aol.com>

Ed) is it the 150cps tone oscillator? Could it be running a little too much? Often times when using so equipped military radios with civilian types(especially scanners) this 150cps tone sounds very obnoxious. Simple way to find out is to just pull the tone generator module out and try it that way.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Solid State ARC-Type-12 Supplies,

Dennis. WANT.. INFO I recently picked up a few ARC Dynaverters.  Thet are a solid state package and have the model number DV-14A.  I'd like to have  more info and a schematic. Dave Stinson reckons they were a replacement for dynamotors and have 28  V input. Out put socket is the ARC 12 pin.

Pete Williams VK 3 IZ

jupeter@net-tech.com.au

 

 

ed) Dave is most likely correct, though they are not nearly as common as the old dynomotors, many of the Type-12, and Type-15 ARC equipments were fitted with solid state inverters. While I've seen many of these inverters, I've never seen a schematic for one. Maybe another member can help.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dennis,

 

 

As you may have noticed, I've been a bit quiet lately - but, as always, read your stuff with great interest. NVIS stuff is something of a revelation - I'd never heard of the idea. Look forward to reading more about it and having a go myself.

 

 

Have just finished replacing power transformer on Collins 51J4 (sim R388).  Straightforward job, but the owner wasn't game to tackle it. Had a couple of other minor probs, no sweat to sort. It's quite a nice box.

 

 

Keep up the good work.

 

 

Regards,

 

John Mackesy

ed) Very nice to know your still alive John. After many years of searching I finally found me a 51J-4(R-388A) last year(I "traded" a bunch of land mobile equipment for it). Sorrily though I've had no time to play with it since. The radio it replaced was an R-388(51J-3) and was the main station receiver beloved above all others(without exception!). The only difference between the two is mechanical filters in the R-388A(51J-4), and not in the R-388(51J-3). I hope you can now get back to finishing Part II of "Eyes for Your Receiver", Hint!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks Dennis and Jay for your accounts of NVIS use.  I'll be taking an

HF rig on my camping trip into the Mohave desert for sure.

Sean T. Kelly     email is     sean_k@hotmail.com

***********************************************

SPECIAL EVENTS REPORT; Peotone Illinois, Springfield Mo.

Dennis,

 

 

Hamfest Peotone Illinois, Sunday, Aug. 2, 98:

 

 

One of the better tailgate events in this area. Nice day but attendance was down somewhat. At 7:30 AM all parking spots were taken and a large crowd of lookers/touchers were shuffling around. By 10 AM the place was noticeably vacant. I personally did not see too many people leaving with large bundles under their arms. More and more computer stuff showing up.

 

 

R392 @ $200, BC-669A @ $150, BC-1000 @ $200 less everything (was repainted in 2 tone colors, tan/dark OD), R390 @ $300, BC-221 @ $25, bunch of Israeli PRC-6 @ $45, PRC-6 batteries @ $30, BC-348 @ $35, SG-85/URM-25 @ $50, a really nice AN/PRC-126 for only $1200.

 

 

Most items had no prices and it is difficult to stand, with pen and paper in hand among a group of items asking questions and prices. I did manage to really piss that guy off who recognized that I was an asker not a buyer. So much simpler if everyone would price their items. Can't understand why they don't?

 

 

Fair amount of military stuff. Little of interest to me, priced too high when I was interested. It appeared that everything was still there when I departed at noon. Very little to nothing in accessories or parts.

Ed Guzick

<guzick@worldnet.att.net>

 

ed) I don't know why people at flea markets don't bother to put prices on things either. Maybe it's because they have a different price for whoever might walk by. I tend to walk right by those items that aren't marked unless I really want it bad, then I'm usually sorry I asked when I do. Additionally I'd like to know were these silly prices are coming from? There must be a book in print, something like "Price Guide for Greedy Moron's". Sorry thing is, I suspect I know who had some of the stuff you list above, and where it originally came from, and you do too!

     The sum total of military equipment at the Springfield Mo. hamfest amounted to one Q-5'r command set(the most common in the world), and that was all! Every time I saw Frank White he had an arm load, and some of it was some pretty good old stuff, but none was military. I think Sheldon Wheaton musta got mad at Frank for gettin ta all the good stuff before him, as he disappeared at about mid morning. Not to good for Frank as he and Sheldon had road together from the KC Kansas area.

     I ended up leaving at 10:00 with the idea I'd hit a couple flea markets on the way home(there's one on about every street corner in this part of the country). I didn't find any radios on the way, but I did get me a 1918 Trench Knife, the one with the brass knuckles. I'd never seen a real one in the flesh before, so had to have it! Cost me $35.00 and a Ontario Marine Corps Bowie(current stuff). Now I gotta find room in the display case for it.(see below).

***********************************************

NON-MEMBER STUFF;

 

 

FREE STUFF IN NEW YORK;

Hi Dennis... I found your address in the ham radio trader (a complimentary issue).  I inherited the equipment listed below,

and before I throw them out, I was trying to find out if someone wanted them.  Free, of course, but shipping could be expensive.  Or maybe you know someone in the North East who might be interested.

I live near Albany, NY.

 

 

One is an NC-156 (I'm told it is a military version of the National NC-100A, circa 1940). The other is a CRV-20049 'rectifier power unit',made by RCA for the navy, contract date 1/9/1940.

 

 

Both are pretty ratty looking.

 

Don, WA2YQY@WA2UMX.FN32AW.NY.USA.NOAM -or- WA2YQY@Compuserve.com

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Hi Dennis:

 

 

I thought this may be of interest to some people on the list.

 

I was talking to Fred at Adirondack Dodge, (Prospect, NY - 315-896-2572) and he mentioned that he has for sale about a thousand assorted NOS military radio tubes that he acquired as part of a larger surplus deal.

 

Fred is very reputable and realistic about pricing.

 

 

Good luck,

 

 

Hank

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We have a model TS403/U   1.4ghz to 4 ghz. generator that is surplus to our needs. We bought it originally for use in testing satellite systems in the c band and for r&d. Any offer considered. It is in excellent shape with portable heavy box with

snap lid and very rugged for field use, I suppose. Call me toll free or email.    1 888 810 0333    Email: Alaun@aol.com   Alaun

Electronics, Al Braun. We are near Pasadena Ca.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings all.

 

A friend of mine by the name of Scott Johnson is looking for a GRC-9 in at least half decent shape. If anyone has any leads on a radio for him, please drop him a line at scottj@fwf.com. Please reply to him, and not to me!

 

 

73

 

 

Tom

ed) if ya find any, I'd like one too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can anyone help out Paul?

 

 

Reply to him, not to me!!!!

 

 

73

 

 

Tom

 

 

>From: Paul Reichley <reichley@mail1.jpl.nasa.gov>

>Tom,

>I have a receiver that that I have not seen on any of the military communications equipment lists. The nameplate on the receiver has the following information:

> 

 

>RECEIVER, RADIO

>R645/GPQ-3

>STK NO. 1800-0238980

>SER. 7

>PART NO. 1929-5002 G1

>CONTRACT NO. AF 30(635)-778

>RAYTHEON MFG CO.

>WALTHAM, MASS

> 

 

>It seems identical, as far as I can determine, to the R388/URR (Collins 51J3). It however, has a dark blue (Air Force blue?) front panel. It is a rack mount model and has a sloping back cover for the electronics.

> 

 

>I fire it up about once a week, but most of my day to day listening is done on an Icom R9000 and assorted other Icom and JRC receivers.

> 

 

>I have had the radio for 20 years and it is in good operating condition. I would appreciate any information you could provide, or if you could steer me to where I could find further information.

> 

 

>Thanks

>Paul Reichley                         Telephone: (818) 354-0275

>Planning and Control Manager          Fax: (818) 393-5112

>Scatterometer Program                 Email: paul.reichley@jpl.nasa.gov

>Jet Propulsion Laboratory

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MILITARY EQUIPMENT, ESTATE LIQUIDATION;

 

 

DUMMY LOAD, AN/URM-13          3ea          1 IS CASE ONLY

 

 

ARC-73                             TX,RX & control unit

 

 

BC-639A RCVR             

 

 

ARC-34B                            NO CASE/PARTS UNIT

 

 

ARC-34A                            W/CASE

   

NAVY HEADSET W/MIKE, H133C      

 

 

HEADSET, H251/U

 

 

SEVERAL BATTERIES; THINK THEY FIT THE HT'S. SOME SMALL TUBES FOR?? AND SEVERAL ODDS & ENDS THAT LOOK LIKE THEY FIT MIL GEAR.

 

 

ALSO HAVE SOME COMMERCIAL ITEMS, STEREO STUFF, ETC.

 

 

DEVIATION MTR, MODEL 140            MFG BY MCGRAW EDISON

 

 

SEVERAL EIMAC TUBES, POWER TYPE 7 SOME SMALL TUBES.

 

 

ADF UNIT, R324A, RCVR, INSTRUMENT & ANT.   

 

 

respond with any offers to:

Bill Leehan

< bleehan@hauns.hauns.com>  

ed) Bill will take just about anything that's offered, I've already purchased a bunch of this estates equipment.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dennis,

 

My Russian friend has an R676 radio up for grabs,  Is anyone in the group interested in uch a radio. If there is, I will find out more about it such as cost, etc.  the R-676 is a kind of VLF receivers for atomic submarines, developed in 70's.

Bill Howard

THE WILLIAM L. HOWARD ORDNANCE TECHNICAL INTELLIGENCE MUSEUM

e-mail wlhoward@gte.net Telephone AC 727- 585-7756

***********************************************

GETTIN RID OF MY CAMERA STUFF;

 

I spent three hours last Thursday trying ta fit all my military blades in the display case, and finaly got it done. Stopped at a flea marked on the way home from the Springfield hamfest Saturday and picked up a 1918 trench knife(the one with the brass knuckles), but got no more room for it in the display case. So the cameras that now enjoy the lower part of this display case gotta go.

 

 

Brownie Reflex 20, w/flash, and bulbs, new in box.

Tynar, 16mm submini.

Steky, model III, 16mm submini.

Minolta 16QT, submini.

Robot Star 50, 35mm. (featured in Melton's "the Unltimate Spy Book")

Minox 35GL, submini 35mm.

Argus 35mm, 4ea, 2 ea small format, 2ea large, all different.

Fujica 35mm SLR.

Condor , Watameter, submini shoe mount range finder, W. German.

Several old W. German photometers.

 

Will swap for about anything on my want list, or sell if I gotta.

 

Dennis Starks; MILITARY RADIO COLLECTOR/HISTORIAN

military-radio-guy@juno.com

***********************************************

HUMOR;

The following are actual statements made during court cases:

 

 

  Judge: I know you, don't I?

  Defendant: Uh, yes.

  Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?

  Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?

  Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me.

  Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie.

   ====================

  From a defendant representing himself...

  Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I stole your purse?

  Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my  purse.

  Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance.

  =======================================================

  Judge: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant?

  Defendant: No, sir, I'm the guy who stole the chickens.

  =======================================================

  Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys?

  Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth.

  Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution.

  Juror: That's not true. I think prosecutors should be drowned at birth too.

  =======================================================

  Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?

  Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.

  Judge: Can't they do without you at work?

  Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.

  ======================================================

  Lawyer: Tell us about the fight.

  Witness: I didn't see no fight.

  Lawyer: Well, tell us what you did see.

  Witness: I went to a dance at the Turner house, and as the men swung around and changed partners, they would slap each other, and one fellow hit harder than the other one liked, and so the other one hit back and somebody pulled a knife and someone else drew a six-shooter and another guy came up with a rifle that had been hidden under a bed, and the air was filled with yelling and smoke and bullets.

  Lawyer: You, too were shot in the fracas?

  Witness: No sir, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

   ======================================================

  Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.

  Judge: And why is that?

  Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn't interested in my case.

  Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have any comments on the defendant's motion?

  Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor. I wasn't listening.

   ======================================================

  Judge: Please identify yourself for the record.

  Defendant: Colonel Ebenezer Jackson.

  Judge: What does the "Colonel" stand for?

  Defendant: Well, it's kinda like the "Honorable" in front of your name.  Not a damn thing.

  =======================================================

  Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to say in your defense?

  Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?

  ======================================================

  Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): Can I address the court?

  Judge: Of course.

  Defendant: If I called you a son of a bitch, what would you do?

  Judge: I'd hold you in contempt and assess an additional five days in jail.

  Defendant: What if I thought you were a son of a bitch?

  Judge: I can't do anything about that. There's no law against thinking.

  Defendant: In that case, I think you're a son of a bitch.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 A Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys PC 370.00

 

 370.01 Any person with a valid in state Rodent or Snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.

 

 370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.


 370.03 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse.  If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash.

 

 

 370.04 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.

 

 370.05 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH"  for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

 

 370.06 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoon.

 

 370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or  brothels.

 

 370.08 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.

 

 370.09 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

 

 370.10  Bag and Possession Limits per day: Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2 ;Two-faced tortfeasors, 1; Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3; Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2; Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4. Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act)

 

 ARS 8007.21 It is illegal to take attorneys with a moving vehicle unless there are no measurable skid marks at the kill site.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 An elderly Jewish couple are sitting together on an airplane flying to the Far East. Over the public address system, the Captain announces:   Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down momentarily. Luckily, I see an island below us that should be able to accommodate our landing.  Unluckily, this Island appears to be uncharted; I am unable to find it on our maps. So the odds are that we will never be rescued and will have to live on the island for a very long time, if not for the rest of our lives. The husband turns to his wife and asks, Esther, did we turn off the stove?  and Esther replies, of course.  Esther, are our life insurance policies paid up?" Of course.   Esther, did we pay our UJA pledge? Oh my G-d, I forgot to send the check!!  Thank Heaven! They'll find us for sure!!

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Saddam Hussein is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers that "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy."  "No," Hussein says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."  A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty Iraqi children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy."  I'm afraid not," explains Hussein.  "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.   "What?" asks  Hussein, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he speaks:

"If an  airplane carrying Yasser Arafat, Colonel Gaddafi, and Saddam Hussein were blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."     "Wonderful!" Hussein beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"  "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be a accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to perform anymore. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.  Finally the doctor says to him "This is all in your mind.", and refers him

to a psychiatrist. After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured." Finally the psychiatrist refers him to witch doctor. The witch doctor tells him, "I can cure this", and throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke ........ The witch doctor says "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year!  All you have to do is say '1 2 3' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"  The guy then asks the witch doctor "What happens when it's over?"  The witch doctor says "All you have to say is '1 2 3 4' and it will go down. But be warned it will not work again for a year!"  The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news....... So, he is lying in bed with her and says "1 2 3", and suddenly he gets an erection.  His wife turns over and says "What did you say '1 2 3' for?

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea.  The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch.     The seaman asks "So, how did you end up with the peg leg?"  The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks.  Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."  "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?   "Well,", replied the pirate, "we were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."  "Incredible!" remarked the seaman.  "How did you get the eyepatch"?   "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate. "You lost your

eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.  "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 A priest and a rabbi walked into a bar.  After sitting down, ordering, and some chit chat the priest said, "Have you noticed there are no women in this bar?"  He then realized the truth, "I think we're in a gay bar."  A man approached and tried to flirt with the priest. The priest was dumbfounded, and didn't know what to do.  The rabbi leaned over and

whispered something in the man's ear.  The man nodded and walked off.   The relieved priest said, "Thanks.  What did you tell him?" The rabbi replied, "I just told him we're on our honeymoon."

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 A guy is driving along the freeway in Los Angeles, and as he reaches downtown, he finds himself in the middle of a massive traffic jam that is blocking up five different freeways and sending lines of cars back for

miles in all directions.   After a while, he notices a guy walking from car to car down the freeway, stopping and talking to people through their car windows. When the guy reaches him he rolls down his window and says, "Hey!  What's causing all this delay?"   The guy on the freeways says, "Well, you're not going to believe this, but OJ Simpson has sat down in the middle of the freeway intersection up there, and he's totally distraught, and he says there's no way he can ever pay the $35 million he owes the Goldmans and the Browns, and so he's threatened to douse himself in gasoline and light himself on fire if people don't give enough money...sufficient to cover the cost of the judgment.  So I've taken up a collection to try to end the traffic jam."   "How much have you gotten so far?"   "About ten gallons."

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 An elderly woman walked into a doctor's office and told the doctor that she and her husband had not been intimate in years. She said that her husband seemed to have a lack of desire. After listening to the woman for a while, the doctor said, "I have just the thing. Have your husband take two of these pills right before dinner...."  The next morning the woman stormed into the doctor's office and exclaimed, "You have to change my husband's prescription!! It is much too strong!! I gave him the pills before dinner, just like you told me, and halfway through dinner they took effect. He got a wild look in his eyes, then pulled the tablecloth off the table; breaking all of the dishes!!  Then he threw me onto the

table, and we made love right there!!  "I feel awful," said the doctor. "Let me at least pay for all of the broken dishes."   Don't worry about it," replied the woman, "we just won't eat at that restaurant any more!!"

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?   Snowballs.

 

 What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?   They both like a tight seal.

 

 If a light sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a hard sleeper sleep with?

 

 What is the difference between Olympic swimmers, and Olympic divers?  Mark Spitz and Greg swallows.

 

 What does Popeye do to keep his favorite tool from rusting?   Sticks it in Olive Oyl.

 

 What has three teeth and sixty feet?   The front row at a Willy Nelson concert.

 

 What is the new O.J. web site address?   slash slash backslash escape

 

 What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration.

 

 What did the banana say to the vibrator?   What are YOU shaking for?  She is going to eat me!

 

 What is the difference between erotic and kinky?  Erotic is using a feather... kinky is using the whole chicken.

 

 What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?  About three inches.

 

 What is the difference between a hormone, and an enzyme?  You can't hear an enzyme.

 

 How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One... men will screw anything.

 

 What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?  One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with... the  other is used to carry groceries.

  `,,``,,`

 Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

 

 

   `,,``,,`

 Two nuns were living in the jungle, doing their good work. One day they were strolling through the bushes, as suddenly two dangerous looking guys jumped before them.  Each of them takes a nun, throws her on the soil and starts raping them.

 "Oh God,'' nun #1 cries, ''forgive him, cause he doesn't know what he is doing."  "Well, mine sure does!" groans nun # 2.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In 1890, a stagecoach bounced down a rutted road, heading for Dallas. In the coach were a Texan, a busty lady and a greenhorn from the East. The greenhorn kept eyeing the lady. Finally he leaned forward and said, "Lady, I'll give

you ten dollars for a blowjob."  The Texan looked appalled, pulled out his pistol, and shot the greenhorn between the running lights.  The lady gasped and said, "Thank you, sir, for defending my honor!"  The Texan holstered his gun and said, "Your honor, hell!  Just trying to keep down inflation.  Around here, a blowjob goes for two dollars."

 

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(The preceding was a product of the"Military Collector Group Post", an international email magazine dedicated to the preservation of history and the equipment that made it. Unlimited circulation of this material is authorized so long as the proper credits to the original authors, and publisher or this group are included. For more information conserning this group contact Dennis Starks at, military-radio-guy@juno.com)

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